They're only words.... NOT!

Words: our words and the way we use them has been on my mind a lot recently and I want to share with you my thoughts about them and their power.

I recently had the pleasure of teaching a music workshop, and one of the first things I discussed was the importance of stating our musical growth in the positive, rather than in the negative.

"I have terrible rhythm" doesn't leave much room for improvement, does it?
Once could just as easily say, "I haven't had much rhythm, but I'm working on changing that," and still be honest in saying so. That at least, leaves the door open for improvement.

Even more recently, while attending a workshop with the incredible Joe Craven, he reiterated this concept, albeit in a slightly different way: he called it the "Aunt Sally" speech.

In his example, he took on the voice of an elderly woman recalling how she had no talent - never did. It all went to her sister, Sally, who could play anything.

"Your Aunt Sally got all the talent,"she would say regretfully.

Joe doesn't go for this approach, and he proceeded to pick someone out of the audience who had never played anything, gave them his fiddle, and taught them how to play rhythm.

Any of us can tap into rhythm and creativity in we would just stop getting in our own way!

Then, on a Dr. Phil show,the host was counseling a family who were complaining about an in-law and in the process, they were calling the in-law all sorts of awful names: evil, catastrophic, etc. He started by pointing out how words can create a situation that is much larger than it really is.

Is it really catastrophic that this woman caused some trouble, or is it catastrophic when a typhoon or earthquake kills thousands of people?

I am talking about the words we use, and how, if we are not conscious of their use, they can adversely effect our lives.

"I have no talent, " does us an injustice.

Calling it an "awful day" when it is indeed only raining puts an unnecessary negative spin on something we have no control over.

"I feel like I'm walking on eggshells - having to watch every word I say," is something I have heard regarding the idea of monitoring our wording.

To that I say this: If you want your words to have the impact they are intended to have, then yes - you must be aware of what you say and while it might seem at first to be a laborious act, I have found that it gets easier as we learn new ways to phrase things and they are incorporated into our vocabulary.

In the book, "Man, The Manipulator" it was said that all of our words have an impact on others one way or another, whether we intend them to or not. To be aware of that impact gives us more control over our lives and the responses we receive.

"Live your life on purpose!"

I heard that just the other day while watching a lecture on television, the speaker discussing how we attract energy into our lives.

On a related subject - I was working at the home of a client that owned two springer spaniel dogs who where quite misbehaved.

Jumping up on the table to beg for food, they were verbally reprimanded while simultaneously given the food they were seeking. At yet another time, while riding in the car with them, one dog kept climbing into the front seat (over and on top of me). My client yelled at the dog to go into the back while he was petting him.

While these examples may seem more likely geared toward animal behavior, they point out how consistency in word and action are important to get what we want in life.

Taking a class to learn while declaring oneself incapable of learning is a lose-lose situation.

Better to search within ourselves and find the truth: "I used to be...," "I am improving," or possibly, "I don't want to learn this."

That puts the power back in our corner and allows us to change our minds should we decide to.

Which brings me to the subject of control: control over our lives as opposed to turning over control to others, real or imagined.

Have you ever heard someone present a problem and then proceed to negate all possible solutions?

"I need a ride to the store but can't get one."
"Well, how about a taxi?"
"Oh, that is too expensive."
"Can you call a friend?"
"Oh, who is going to want to go out of their way to do that?"
"How about checking in the with senior center for volunteers?"
"They're too busy, and besides, some of them make me nervous."
"How about..."

Would it not have been easier in the first place to have simply said, "I need a ride to the store. Would you give me one?" or " I need a ride, but it isn't that important right now to arrange one."

That is being honest and saves a lot of time and frustration for both parties. It also gets the intended response. (Unless of course, there is a game of "Poor Me" going on, which is a whole other subject.)

"Live your life on purpose!"

Remember that as you go about your day. Speak the truth, but better yet, spend some time thinking about what the truth really is. What are you trying to say?

Are you really untalented, or were you told that once and believed it?

You are what you say you are, so tap into that "I can be anything" energy and let that be the truth.